The Summer In Review

It's Labour Day weekend, meaning the summer of 2012 is sadly over, and the summer blockbusters are gone as well. I'm going to review every movie I've seen this summer. I didn't see quite as many as I did last year, but that was just because less movies interested me this year. Still, I some good ones. Each one I saw will get a review, and and a score out of five. I am writing them in the order I saw them.

The Hunger Games

Okay, this was not a summer movie, but I saw it in May.This was a surprise. I had no interest in seeing this movie at all. I was just expecting to be more Twilight teenage bait crap. I did see it, for no other reason than for me to hate it and be the voice of reason to anyone who liked it. How wrong I was. The Hunger Games is a brilliant movie. Katniss Everden is not Bella Swann. Katniss is tough, resourceful and smart, yet flawed in some ways. In other words, she is a believable, three dimensional character. And of course, Jennifer Lawrence's portrayal is excellent. The entire cast is great, even Josh Hutcherson. I've not been impressed with him in the past, but I liked him here, and I thought the romance actually really worked. I also liked the social satire. It's scathing in some ways, taking on our culture of reality shows. Picture American Idol with children killing each other. The movie is not perfect. The action sucks with the over emphasis on shaky camera work. It makes the fight scenes unwatchable, and actually strained my eyes at times. Nevertheless, I had a blast with this movie. It surprised me with its acting and story, and I'm excited for the next one. 4 Stars.

The Avengers 

Now we're talking! Ever heard the saying "Check your brain at the door?" It's what Michael Bay apologists say about crappy movies with big CGI and no story. Yeah, this movie represented Joss Whedon giving that statement the middle finger. Yes, this is a movie about superheroes teaming up to stop an enemy who wants to take over the world. But Whedon put effort into it, and that's all I ask. He gave us likeable characters, and he gave us a good story. I like all of the movies that led up to this movie, and I couldn't have asked for a better crossover. No complaints. Brilliant work Mr. Whedon. 5 Stars.

Battleship

I saw this piece of crap because I had too. I'd been following the trailers for ages, marvelling at how bad this movie could be. It didn't disappoint. There is no plot of which to speak of, there is no acting of which to speak of, and there is no movie of which to speak of. There is nothing but boring CGI. It's complete crap. Negative 5 Stars. 

Prometheus 

Great acting, great direction, great story, weak screenplay. I love the plot, don't get me wrong. I love the philosophical questions, especially in regards to religion. It doesn't force the questions, it just asks them, and I love that. The cast is brilliant, Michael Fassenbender especially. But the script.... dear oh dear. There are plot holes to be sure, but the problem is the character's actions. They act like complete idiots at times. Especially the guys in the caves, but I won't elaborate. There are big problems, but it's a good movie anyway. The overall plot and direction make up for the script problems. 3 Stars.

The Dark Knight Rises

I already reviewed this movie, so I'm not going to say much more. Excellent movie, if flawed. 4.5 Stars

The Expendables 2 

Again, I already reviewed this movie, so I don't have much to say. It's a stupid movie, but the references make it a blast. I know it's contrary to what I said about The Avengers and making an effort, but I don't care. This is the exception. It's a fun movie. 3 Stars.

The Expendables 2

Is this a good movie? Not really. Is it worth watching? Oh yeah. I'm not even going to talk about the plot or the acting. This is good late summer fun and great for fans of classic action movies, such as myself. Let me just give you some of my highlights.

-Jason Statham disguises himself as a priest when the bad guys (Not going to elaborate. They're just the bad guys) come in. He says "By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you... man and knife." He then starts throwing knives at the guys in a very well shot action scene.

-Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Chuck Norris are actually IN the movie.

-Sylvester Stallone and his men are getting shot at in an abandoned city. The bad guys have a tank too. It's hopeless until the bad guys start getting shot at, and their tanks blow up. No no knows who did it.... and then they see Chuck Norris walking down the road, to the theme from The Good, The Bad And The Ugly.

-Schwarzengger yells "I'm back!" They then play the Terminator theme song for a couple of seconds.

-Chuck Norris tells the story of when he was bitten by a cobra. "After five days of excruciating pain.... the cobra died." Yes, this movie has an actual Chuck Norris fact in it.

-Schwarzenegger and Willis are shooting at people from behind a car. Here is the exact dialogue from the scene:
Schwarzenegger: "Stay here, I'll be back!"
Willis: "You've been back enough. I'll be back." (He leaves)
Schwarzenegger: "Yippee-ki-ay!"
(Chuck Norris approaches him)
Schwarzenegger: "Who's next, Rambo?"

-Jean-Claude Van Damne sucks hard, but tries his absolute best to be cool and threatening. Hey, that's why we love him.

-Director Simon West actually uses a tripod when filming an action scene.

-The movie is self aware. The first one was too serious. This one is fun.

The Worst NHL Jerseys/Logos Of All Time

I've been wanting to do this for a while. I love hockey, always have. I've always loved logos and jerseys. I love how they give a team their identity and spirit. I find most logos are good. Some however are not so good, and I want to look at those ones today. A bad logo with a good jersey will make my list, as will a good logo with a bad jersey. I've got 15 of them, so here we go.

(Dis)honourable Mention- St. Louis Blues Unused Third Jersey

This one is bad in so many ways I don't even know where to begin. Where is the logo here? The trumpets? Maybe, but they're way too big and not in the middle of the jersey like they should be. Why are there musical notes on the sleeves? For the arena's organist? Notice this just an honourable mention. It has to be, because it was never released. Blues Coach-GM at the time Mike Keenan personally vetoed this jersey, thankfully. Good thing too, because this would easily have been enough to win the trophy for worst of all time.

15. Edmonton Oilers Home Jersey

I never got the rhyme or reason behind these jerseys. There is way too much blue and the orange stripes look like they were slapped in on the last second. There is no real coherency. They don't look cool or threatening in any way. Thankfully the Oilers had the sense to dump these jerseys after a couple years, but they live on as Edmonton's third jersey. 

14. Carolina Hurricanes Home Jersey

I have no issues with the jersey here. It's the logo that bugs me. What is it? Does it remind you of a hurricane? Not really. It looks more like a bunch of squiggly lines drawn by a kindergardener. What is the black oval in the middle? A puck? The eye of the storm? I don't know, this logo is just too abstract for my taste.

13. Boston Bruins Third Jersey

An oldie but a baddie. I hate that colour of yellow and I hate the weird black trim. But the logo kills it here. They could have a created a threatening Vancouver Grizzlies style logo, but instead went with a bear which looks like Winnie The Pooh. Seriously isn't that the nicest, most peaceful bear you've ever seen? Aw, he's a got a little smile, isn't that cute? Sure to strike fear in the hearts of the opponent. So cute!

12. Vancouver Canucks Third Jersey

A stick on an ice rink. That forms a "C" for Canucks. Clever? No. I know it's retro, but still.

11. Dallas Stars 

Uhm, you actually need a logo for me to judge it. Shame on you Dallas.

10. Atlanta Thrashers Home Jersey

Thrashers Owner: "You know what our colour needs to be? Baby blue! That's threatening! Oh, and put 'Atlanta' on one of the arms. Just so people know where we're from.

9. Florida Panthers Third Jersey

I'd say why creating a third jersey with different team colours is a bad idea, but I think Tomas Vokoun's  pads clashing with the jersey do that for me. 

8. Ottawa Senators Third Jersey 

God I hate these jerseys. I hated them from the second I saw them  and I hate them now. Well the jersey is good enough and actually kind of unique. It's the logo. "Sens?" That was the best they could do? Yes, that's their nickname, but do you think someone in Minnesota or Columbus knows that? What's wrong with the full name, or actually a logo? The Senators should know better. Note: when I started doing this list, I had no done no research in jerseys: I was just doing what I knew. I had every intention of declaring these jerseys the worst of all time. Ottawa should be glad these abominations are worse.

7. Vancouver Canucks Third Jersey

Oh look, another Canucks jersey. Fun. This one is just an eyesore. The yellow looks like it belongs on a minor league jersey and the Halloween colours on the "V" just don't work. This franchise has not had a good run on uniforms. 

6. Nashville Predators Third Jersey

Now that is puke yellow if I ever saw it. That is such a terrible colour that it almost distracts from the terrible logo. It tries to look tough, but it so cartoony that it looks more like a Pokemon than a sabretooth tiger. It is the weakest attempt at looking badass I've ever seen. 

5. Los Angeles Kings Third Jersey 

They actually forced The Great One to wear this terrible thing? First off, logos belong in the centre, not in the top left corner. A gradient stripe down the chest like that does not work, and no king I've ever seen has a purple beard. This is so cheesy that I'm amazed it actually got on the ice.

4. Buffalo Sabres: 

This is probably one of the most hated logos in NHL history. In years past, the Sabres had blue and yellow as their colours, but they changed it to red and black in the 90's. There was much hype over a return to blue and yellow, and fans were crushed by this terrible thing. It has been dubbed "The Slug" by fans, some one whom created websites demanding  it be taken away. I always thought it looked more like a football logo, and apparently I'm not alone. I found this online:

Thankfully, this logo is gone, replaced by the Sabres' classic logo.

3. Anaheim Mighty Ducks Third Jersey

Once upon a time, Disney was awarded an NHL team to play in Anaheim, called the Mighty Ducks. The marketed the hell out of it, even creating an animated cartoon featuring humanoid ducks who play hockey and fight crime. Sounds normal to me. 

Why does this matter? Because Wild Wing, the star of the show is the subject of this jersey. That's right, a Disney character is featured on an NHL jersey. The result? A cartoony mess. No pun intended. 

2. New York Islanders

These things get mocked to this day, almost twenty years after they were retired. That is Captain Highliner on the logo. Why is Captain Highliner on the logo? Why is he holding a hockey stick? True story: whenever the Islanders visited the rival New York Rangers wearing these jerseys, Ranger fans would chant "We want fish sticks!" Good times.

1. Tampa Bay Lightning Third Jersey 

So. We have an image of waves on the ocean, Tampa's logo as an actual lightning bolt, laughably bad looking "rain," cartoonish looking lightning on the sleeves and numbers which look they're made of ocean spray. Can you see why I consider this the worst jersey of all time?

The Dark Knight Rises

Umm, weak photoshop much?

Well, it was fun while it lasted. In 2005 Christopher Nolan saved the Batman movie franchise with Batman Begins, a great film which reintroduced the character to Hollywood. I loved that movie, but the sequel, The Dark Knight stand as one of my favourite movies of all time. It's a genius film, although I don't have to tell anyone that: you've already seen it. This movie stands as my anticipated movie of all time. I spent four years waiting for this movie and analyzed every trailer and TV spot I saw. How did it stand up? Is it a worthy finale to this great trilogy? Sadly, no. Don't get me wrong: it is a great movie, better than Batman Begins, but could have been much, much better.

First off, the synopsis. Seven years after the end of The Dark Knight which saw Batman take the blame for the deaths of Two-Face's victims to protect Harvey Dent's reputation. Bruce retired the Batman persona and Gotham has cleaned up its crime to become a safe city. However, a mercenary named Bane is coming to Gotham, with an intention to take over the city. Add in mysterious cat burglar Selina Kyle (cough..... Catwoman.....cough cough...) and you have the basic and you have quite a situation. 

Now, for the good. Nolan directs the hell out of this movie. I would say it is more of an epic than a superhero movie. It's filmed mostly in IMAX, has tons of action and an overall larger scale than the previous movie. The action is very good and suspenseful. The fight scenes are great, and the climax is nothing short of spectacular. My favourite part was the first fight between Bane and Batman. Here is Bane:

Yeah, he's a pretty big guy. Much bigger than Batman, and the first fight is punishing. There is no music and the only sound effects are the punches being thrown. Actually, all of Bane's scenes are great. He is a very threatening villain with a great voice and persona. I liked him from the moment he speak. Catwoman is also very good. I felt Anne Hathaway was the standout performer here. She had a great character arc in the movie. Christian Bale is good as always, and his Batman voice didn't bother me as much as it did in the last movie. I felt Bruce's character arc was his best in the trilogy. I won't say much, but it is really well done, especially his "climb." Those who have seen the movie know what I mean. There was also a number of gems hidden throughout the movie, especially the final scene. I won't spoil it, but it brought a huge grin to my face.

Now for the issues. Two words: plot holes. This movies has tons of them. Some minor, some huge, all inexcusable. Watch the movie for yourself and count the plot holes. I expect better from Nolan, who has shown time and again he will only stand for the highest quality in films. These plot holes are obvious and should have been noticed. I also hated the character of Miranda Tate. She was okay until the "twist" at the end, a twist which would make M. Night Shamalyan shake his head. Why? Because I guessed it going into the movie. Her storyline was so obvious and yet they treated it like it was a big secret. Bane's motivation was also a problem. The Joker wanted to take over Gotham because he believed his life style of anarchy was the way to go and wanted to prove a world with rules is the only way to live. Bane was going to nuke Gotham because Batman killed Ra's Al Ghul in the first movie. That was the best they could come up? "Your punishment must be more severe." Not really. In fact, the "twist" shows Bane does not care about Ra's, or Batman for that matter. For a a goal he doesn't really care about, Bane sure seems invested. That "twist" was the biggest problem. I won't reveal it, but it really did take a lot out of the movie. Take it away and I think you could have a movie on par with The Dark Knight. The plot holes would still be there, but I could forgive that.

So in conclusion I loved this movie. It's flawed, but it is a good movie and a good end to the trilogy. It could have been better, but could have been much worse. Nolan proved he is a genius. I'm going to miss the trilogy. Bring on the Superman reboot!

Welcome

So, I don't know if anyone is going to bother reading this blog, but welcome if you are. I find writing stuff therapeutic in many ways, just to get stuff on paper (or in this case, a computer screen) I think I'll be writing on this a fair bit. On what? Well, whatever. I'm a huge movie nut, and I'll post reviews of movies when I see them. I'll also ramble here whenever I want to. So welcome. Enjoy the ride. Let's get started.