Godzilla (1998)

I already did the Lecture Hall on this movie, but I tried my best to be as neutral as possible. Looking over it I realize some of my opinions crept in, but I did my best to keep my own feelings out of it. When I said that the movie wasn't faithful to the original Godzilla, that's not the angry ravings of some Godzilla fanboy, that's just simple fact. Look at the characteristics of the Japanese Godzilla and the American Godzilla, and there's no doubt there are huge differences. The appearances are different, the characteristics are different, the fighting styles are different, and the techniques are different. Am I a Godzilla fan? Yes. So from what I just said and from what little bits of opinion crept into the Lecture Hall, you must think I hate the movie. After all, a simple Google search will show that virtually every fan of the Japanese Godzilla movies seem to hate the American movie, so I must hate it as well, right?

Well.... yeah.....but.......c'mon. It's not THAT bad..... (Or is it?) 

First of all yes, as a movie this totally falls on its face. How bad is the writing? Well, as soon as Dr. Nik Tato-whatever his name is (Y'know, Matthew Broderick's character) finds blood from Godzilla, the first thing he does is run to the pharmacy (Which is still open like everything's fine and there isn't a gigantic lizard on the lose) and buys human pregnancy tests. He tests them and poof! Godzilla's pregnant? Then he says he has to go to the lab to "confirm this." What did he even suspect that Godzilla was pregnant? Why not test it for radiation, compare it to the DNA of other reptiles to try to get some kind of clues as to what Godzilla's identity could be? Why does his mind turn right away to pregnancy, especially since there's no proof at all there's another Godzilla out there? Oh that's right, Godzilla reproduces asexually. How convenient. Hey, how did you guess that so accurately? Sure there's no proof that there's another Godzilla, but does that mean you have to rule that possibility out entirely? And why do you keep referring to Godzilla as a "he"? If he lays eggs, asexually or not, then it must a be a female, right? Why do this movie not explain this? No idea. There are serious lapses in thinking. Granted, I don't know what I was expecting of a summer blockbuster from Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, but my God; Independence Day wasn't this stupid! But as bad as the writing is, the acting is even worse. Broderick was nothing short of dreadful, along with everyone else. Okay I guess Jean Reno was kinda fun, but that's it. And if they're French secret agents, why do they speak English half the time? Would having us read subtitles be that difficult?

But of course, this is a summer blockbuster, where acting and writing take a backseat to fun and special effects. Should that be the case? No, but I'm not here to take shit about the summer blockbuster season in general. Is Godzilla fun? Well... yeah it is. The CGI effects are actually pretty good, much better than some of the other CGI effects from the 90's (I'm looking at you, Spawn) The action scenes are fun, especially the chase sequences. True, Godzilla should be the one chasing the military and not vice versa, but they are still fun for what they are. The scenes where Godzilla first arrives in Manhattan are easily the best parts of the movie. It actually does a pretty good job of creating fear and tension in New York City, especially in terms of Godzilla's mystery. No one has obviously seen anything like this, and I think the fear over him is well done. I hated how the ending of course, but that goes without saying. I know the humans eventually killed Godzilla in the original Japanese movie, but it was done much better than this! Even so again, I can't say I was ever really bored during the action scenes, and that's a positive.

Is this a Godzilla movie? No way. The characteristics are different, the monster's personality is different, everything is different. It's more a remake of The Beast of 20,000 Fathoms, another movie that I like. I am a Godzilla fan, but I can't find myself getting too mad at it. It's a stupid movie, but entertaining enough to get a pass from me. It's a very, very guilty pleasure for me. Is it a good movie? No, but I'd say it's worth a watch, at least one. 

The Summer In Review (2013)

Tad late on this one, but here are my reviews for every movie I saw this summer. I already reviewed a bunch of these, but not all. I didn't have the chance to see a lot of the movies this year, so don't expect reviews for Elysium or even Star Trek Into Darkness (I've actually never seen any of the Star Trek movies)

Iron Man 3

My most anticipated movie of the summer, and also the worst. I already wrote about how much I utterly hated this movie, so I won't go in too much further. I don't want to seem like I'm just piling on to those fanboys who are complaining about the Mandarin twist. My problem was that they threw out an interesting, compelling villain and replaced him with a less interesting villain whose powers and and abilities bordered on laughable at times. A poorly written mess that's shaken my faith in Marvel Studios. The new Thor movie had better deliver. 0 Stars

The Hangover Part III

I really haven't spoken about The Hangover movies before, so very quickly: I like the first one a lot. I think it's very funny. The second one is nowhere near as good, but still has a few moments that made me laugh, even if it is a carbon copy of the first one. This one continued the downward trend. It wasn't the "epic conclusion" promised, although it didn't need one. Does a movie series called "The Hangover" need an epic conclusion? This had maybe two scenes that made me chuckle, and nothing that really made me laugh. The story was bland, John Goodman was wasted, and I found this to be the least interesting of the three. Alan was never my favorite character, so seeing him be basically the sole focus annoyed me. Still, it was good to see the Wolfpack again, and I will miss the chemistry Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, Justin Bartha (Yes, I do consider him part of the Wolfpack) and Zach Galifinakis have. That alone keeps me from totally hating this movie, even if it was a trainwreck. 1.5 Stars

The Lone Ranger

...Yup. This was the first movie I saw after two seeing two others that I hated. I didn't have a great summer at the movies is what I'm trying to say. To be fair, this was nowhere near as bad as the critics said. Is The Lone Ranger a bad movie? Oh yeah, for sure. But it's not terrible: the action scenes were very well done (For the most part), there are some funny parts and I actually thought the acting was good. Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer and Tom Wilkinson were all good, and I thought William Fichtner was very good. The William Tell Overture playing throughout was wonderful and made everything epic and fun. It was a huge boost to the movie. Was Depp's portrayal offensive as some people said? I don't know, maybe. It depends on the person really. The story was all over the place with plot holes aplenty. The movie was waaaaaaaaaaaay too long. The pacing was off throughout, several characters were totally wasted (Helena Bonham Carter comes to mind) and the story overall was weak. With a better script, they could have had something. What we're left at is a mildly entertaining night at the movies, but absolutely nothing beyond that, and certainly nothing memorable. 2 Stars

Man Of Steel

Already spoke about this garbage. Awful direction, awful script, good cast. Better than Iron Man 3, but only slightly. And no, I could not care less about the upcoming sequel with Batfleck. I honestly don't even know if I'll see it. 1 Star

Pacific Rim

I really tried to write a review for this, considering how hyped I was for it. Yes, it was giant robots fighting giant monsters. But it was a lot of fun, and respected its audience. It took itself seriously enough, which made it a welcome change from Michael Bay's Transformers. It wasn't perfect, but it was a good action movie and a fun ride. 3.5 Stars

Monsters University

Leave it to Pixar to save my summer movie journey! This wasn't perfect, and not really Pixar's best, but this was still an excellent movie. It was great to see Mike and Sully again after Monsters Inc, which I always loved. There was good comedy, a good story, and a surprisingly harsh message for children. It teaches that sometimes our dreams are unattainable, no matter how bad we want them. That may seem wrong, but it's a slice of life kids need to learn. I think it's important for us to remember that, and I appreciate the fact this movie reminded us of that. It's not a downer, but it is realistic in that sense. Realistic: a word I use to describe a movie about monsters. That my friends, is the magic of Pixar. 4 Stars.

The Wolverine

I'm not a huge X-Men fan, so it took me a while to see this. I enjoyed it. Hugh Jackman owns it as Wolverine, as always. Its great to see such a great actor starting to get the recognition he deserves. I'd say the first two thirds were really good and interesting, but the last third suffered, turning into a generic final battle. The addition of Jean Grey was brilliant in my opinion. It's probably the last time we'll see Jean in this series, and I thought she was used great. Some flaws, but a solid effort overall. 3 Stars

Some good movies here, but no gems really. This was a disappointing summer at the movies for me, and I hope next year is better.